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50 ways to tell if you're a sneakerhead (as compiled by the sneakerheads of sneakerfreaker.com)
1. The first thing you notice on everyone is their shoes.
2. When you walk into class / work, people occasionally say “another pair?!?”
3. The teachers / co-workers even notice when you get new shoes.
4. Instead of taking the shortcut with your friends in the grass or dirt, you walk all the way around the cement.
5. Your parents get really mad when you get another pair of shoes.
6. When somebody insults your shoes, you stick up for them like they are your children.
7. You constantly look at people’s shoes when you walk by them.
8. Before you go out, you think for a good 10 – 15 minutes about which sneakers you should wear. [umm, try longer. ahahahaha!]
9. You do not wear certain sneakers to parties / clubs because you are afraid someone is going to step on them.
10. You do not wear white / clear sole shoes in the rain. [actually, it depends. some of my beaters are in white.]
11. You keep every single pair of shoes in the box stuffed. [mostly. beaters don't count!]
12. When people you know (or even strangers) who always see you, look at you, and then look directly down to your feet to see what your shoe you are wearing.
13. Most of the time your shoes are the main center attraction.
14. You feel insulted when someone says “They’re JUST shoes!”
15. You want multiple pairs of the same shoe.
16. You browse eBay daily to find that “HG” (Holy Grail). [ROFL. eBay. AS IF!]
17. You are willing to spend good money on your “HG” in “NDS” (Near Dead stock) condition.
18. You at least know someone in every shoe store you go to.
19. Your paintings are shoe themed.
20. You could have bought a small car for the amount you spent on your collection.
21. You get really defensive about any damage to your shoes.
22. You save up your lunch money over a month to buy a new pair.
23. You look down at your shoes every 5 minutes.
24. Your drawer is full of shoe cleaners.
25. You skip school / work to go to the mall because new pair of Jordans are being released.
26. You know what “NT” and “ISS” stands for. [okay, i know NT, but i don't know what ISS stands for.]
27. You sit in class / at work & keep turning your foot to the side to look at your shoes. [guilty.]
28. You know a fake shoe when you see it.
29. Your background in your computer is a Jordan.
30. You think that girls that have wear Air Jordans are hot even without looking at their face. [...]
31. You go to the mall for silica packs and tell the lady that it’s for a school project because they won’t give you any otherwise.
32. You check the weather before you go out so you know what shoe you should wear.
33. You put an extra insole in your Jordan’s to not rub off the Jumpman in the insole. [good idea.]
34. You take a traveling cleaning kit when you are on the road.
35. You limp when you walk to prevent creasing.
36. You clean your shoes after every wear. [almost, anyway.]
37. You learned the roman numerals from the Air Jordan series.
38. 23 is one of your favorite numbers.
39. When you are bored in class and someone says something about shoes you listen.
40. You never try to get any of your shoes dirty.
41. You take your shoes off and walk when it suddenly starts raining in school to walk to your car.
42. You have a whole frame of Jordan retro cards.
43. You carry a shoe-related magazine in your backpack. [not all the time, though.]
44. You know all the release date for Jordans.
45. You get mad when people say “Jordans are a waste of money”.
46. When you buy a new pair of shoes you take pictures of them.
47. You write poems of your shoes.
48. You visit ISS and NT Forums. [used to, cbf nowadays.]
49. You know what DS, OG, SMH, & MJ stand for.
50. You know when Michael Jordan’s birthday is.
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50 ways to tell if you're a SNEAKERHEAD (Version 2.0)
1. When you realized Formatmag.com dropped their annual sneaker issue in September, you put on your best kicks before reading it.
2. Vacations are just a chance to visit different cities’ shoe stores.
3. You have developed a style of walking that neither creases the toe nor flexes the body of the shoe.
4. You know who Tinker Hatfield is.
5. You’ve lined up (or camped out) for shoes.
6. You vividly remember each and every shoe regret (a pair you didn’t cop when you had the chance).
7. You keep the box of every pair you buy – as well as the crinkled tissue-paper wadding inside the shoes.
8. You love Air Force 1's and Dunks.
9. You hate how played out Air Force 1's and Dunks have become. [FUCK YEAH.]
10. You’re into kicks that aren’t Nikes.
11. You’re mad when they never release the colorway you want.
12. You then create the colorway in Photoshop and post it on NT.
13. You have a Jumpman tattoo.
14. You wish you had a Jumpman tattoo.
15. You have the And 1 man tattoo (oops, that just means you’re in the NBA – or really, really wish you were).
16. You’ve got a pair of kicks you ain’t see nobody rock, not online or eBay or the streets.
17. You dislike a particular basketball player based solely on his shoes.
18. Based solely on design, you cop the signature shoes of a player you dislike immensely (VC, anyone?).
19. You’ve travelled over 200 miles just to shop for shoes.
20. You remember your first sneaker fondly. [CONS, BABY. Kevin Johnson's CONS.]
21. On more than one occasion, you've had people (girlfriends, family, friends) cop a pair on because you were otherwise entangled (like working at your job). [no, but Fonz has gotten me to buy his shoes a bunch of times.]
22. You must lace up your kicks yourself, even if they come pre-laced.
23. Your shoes must be included in any picture you're in.
24. You chat with the peeps on NT more than your girlfriend.
25. Your 9-to-5 at your 9-to-5 is eBay.
26. You make Top Sneakers of the Year lists (like this one). [well, i did it last year. ]
27. You know the two non-Jordans Mike wore in the NBA (Air Ships & Air Flight Ones).
28. Moms bought you skips growing up, and years later, you’re getting your revenge.
29. You know who Bruce Kilgore is.
30. You buy doubles.
31. You can’t afford to, but you buy doubles anyway.
32. You saw Space Jam in the theatre.
33. You hate when Nike puts out cheap versions of nice joints (Zoom Kobes vs. Zoom Legends, Huarache 2K5s vs. Total Package, More Uptempo vs. Much Uptempo, etc.).
34. You have over 20 pairs of the same model in different colorways.
35. You buy clothes based on how they coordinate with your kicks.
36. You keep saying “this is the last pair…” knowing full-well it ain’t.
37. You not only clean your sneakers regularly, you also have a tool kit (toothbrush, suede brush, sole brush,etc.).
38. There are kicks you haven’t wore in years – because you just can’t find them amongst all the shoe boxes.
39. You know what kicks you’d like to be buried in.
40. You buy more than doubles.
41. You buy kicks that aren’t your size – and not necessarily to resell.
42. You buy your girlfriend nice kicks in a lame attempt to get her into the game (which doesn’t often work).
43. You call it “the game.”
44. You hate when Nike (or whoever) puts out a re-issue of a sneaker that you own the original of.
45. You’ve signed an online petition to bring a particular model back into production.
46. You know that Mike Bibby wore Foamposite Ones in the NCAA ’97 championship game, and Khalid El-Amin wore Flightposite Ones in the NCAA ’00 championship game. [ZONA in '97! bibby with the penny foams!]
47. You’ve never had to ask someone, “where’d you get those?”, because you already know. [i've still gotta ask. haha.]
48. You constantly get asked, “where’d you get those?”, either by strangers or even friends / family.
49. You get annoyed with people who constantly ask you the above question. [nope, i don't really mind.]
50. Your calendar is marked with release dates, not holidays.
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Anyways, over and out.
- marty..
END COMMUNICATION.
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