The One with the Wisdom

My favourite Dr. Cox quotes, according to me. Well, this excludes my favourite long rant about relationships and such.

8. "Not until people start chanting my name so that I can exit the room with my hands held high above my head in a victorious gesture. Capisce? You see, this diagnosing machine, this fabulous thing? Well, it runs on props, so I'm going to need to hear it. Come now."

7. "For your information, I attended that poor vegetable’s funeral every single time I set foot in his room over the last six weeks. Thank God the family finally moved him over to Surgery, where you guys were good enough to help him kick that nasty oxygen habit he had once and for all."

6. "Could I, uh, could I have everybody’s attention, please. Jordan’s pregnant. [Talking in high-pitched voice] No. But Dr. Cox, here I thought you and Jordan were done trying to have any more babies. [Regular voice] We were, but my vasectomy didn’t take which, apparently, is not that uncommon. [High-pitched voice] Holy crap, Dr. Cox. That must have really pissed you off. [Regular voice] Yes, it did. What is, what is your name? [High-pitched voice] Oh, I’m any generic hospital worker who happens to ask you a question about your pregnancy and l or any baby-related issues. [Regular voice] Isn’t that nice? This morality play was made possible by a grant from the “Just See If I Was Kidding Foundation.” "

5. "Oh come on, you gotta focus on the positives. For instance the medical miracle that is one woman actually impregnating another woman. [smacks hands together] Sha-daisy!"

4. "Yeah, your mommy cah-rushed me. She did. Uhh, I'd like to issue a warning to everybody, and I'm dead serious, F.Y.I., J.D.'s mommy has made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want her daughter picked on anymore. Nothing mean, she's a precious flower and we should all be super nice to her."

3. "No, you look! If someone had asked me just this morning, Is there any way that I could have less respect for you two geniuses? I would have said, “No! No, that’s not possible!” But, lo and behold, you went and pulled it off. Congratulations. The only problem is I’m -I’m fresh out of blue ribbons, so instead, you’re gonna have to settle for a lifetime supply of my foot up your ass! Now go home. You’re not fit to work tonight."

2. "And bam! The shine’s off the apple. And that’s when you find out that that pretty little girl you married isn’t a pretty little girl at all. No, she’s a man-eater. And I’m not talking about the “whoa-whoa, here she comes” kind of man-eater. I’m talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink. Of course, I may have tormented her from time to time; but, honest to God, that’s what I thought marriage was all about. So much so that, by the end of that relationship, I honestly don’t know who I hated more — her or me? I used to sit around and wonder…why our friends weren’t trying to destroy each other, like we were. And here, it turns out, the answer’s pretty simple: They weren’t unhappy. We were."

1. "Lemme go ahead and share a little something special with you that I like to call Perry’s Perspective. One: If someone’s standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can’t decide what they want in the half an hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them. Two: I’m fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there’d only be one website left, and it’d be called “Bring back the porn!” Three and most importantly of all: The only way to be respected as a doctor — nay, respected as a man — is to be an island; you are born alone, you damn sure die alone. The point is, and you just might want to jot this down: only the weak need help."

- marty..

END COMMUNICATION.

The One About Implosions and Wastage

Three hours. That's how long it took me to get from home to here, otherwise known as the Mathews Level 4 computer labs.

I'm at Uni on a Saturday. Not just any Saturday, but a really sunny and basketball-perfect Saturday. And I'm sitting here, cursing the fact that I'm stuck at Uni. What a waste.

I only have myself to blame, though. I'm the one that procrastinated and left my assignment 'til the last possible minute. Is there anything better than assuming you can do your assignment at home, only to have the program EPICFAIL on you a few days before it's due? If I'd started sooner, I could've experienced the EPICFAIL earlier in the week, thus meaning I could've made plans to work on my assignment during my Uni breaks. But, them's the breaks. Gather and move along, thank you very much.

I had an epiphany on the bus today. Well, half-epiphany, half-implosion. Epiphlosion, if you will. I started to realise a few things, and I finally found the words to match my thoughts and feelings. The only problem was, it happened while I was sitting in the middle of a crowded bus. So, I could do nada about it. It was such a bizarre experience, getting really infuriated, but having to internalise everything. I was riled up, but completely numb at the same time.

Thank God someone let me into the room. If they didn't, I would've been...well...more angry.

- marty..

END COMMUNICATION.

The One About Purity

On the way home, driving back from a friend's birthday, I felt the urge to brain-release about what was swirling around in my head. It's part justification, part perspective, part justification for my perspective. And yada.

Unrequited love is not as bad as some people make it out to be. People assume it's all about the suckitude that comes with your feelings not being returned. But, there's a positive spin to it. I mean, there's a certain twisted joy that comes out of having a tremendous amount of love for someone, to the point that it doesn't even matter if they love you back. Without their reciprocity, it's....pure. It doesn't get complicated by what the other person feels or thinks about you. It's just you and your love for someone else. And that be it. Cha-ching.

But, there's a catch (isn't there always?). It only works properly if you never have to interact with that person. If they're not around to remind you that it's unrequited and cloud your judgement, you're free to do/think/feel as you wish. The second they're around, though, that's when things start to get...messy. And mess is something we hate to have. Amen? Amen.

So, if you're like me, you take yourself out. Restart game. Disconnect controller from controller port 1. You disappear, out of nowhere. The less contact you have with them, the better you feel. Not because you don't want them around. You do, COT DAMNIT, you do. And you KNOW you do. You just...can't.

It's just not healthy. For anyone. Your friends are sick of hearing you whine about it, they've seen this same scenario play out over and over again. They know how it ends. Shit, son, YOU know how it ends. So, why do you keep playing?

For purity's sake. I'm here for me. Even if she's not around. Even if I'm never around her.

So you act tough. You convince yourself that you don't want her around. You remind yourself how bad she was for you, even though she never meant to be. You get angry. In your mind, you're just getting even. At someone who didn't do all that much wrong in the first place.

One of these days, one of you will see how this is supposed to end. It's completely different for the two of you, but it'll eventually click. One way or another. Until then, it's limbo for you.

Sit tight. It's gonna be a long summer.

- marty..

P.S. Some of this is right. Some of this is wrong. A lot of it doesn't really fall neatly in either pile.

END COMMUNICATION.

The One with MOAR QUOETZ

Addendum!

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"well some people just complicate your life and youre happier if theyre not in it"
-- from "Fellow Bilson-lover," 30/07/08, 10:09:45PM

That's what I told her! For some reason, she just doesn't get it. She still holds it over my head. Total *shrugs* moment. She's not entirely the good guy in this scenario. Maybe she'll see it someday, but knowing her, I'm not holding my breath.


"WHAT PART OF I HATE YOU DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!?!"
-- from "She of the Haterade Persuasion," 31/07/08, 12:50:28AM

The "HATE" part. It's a foreign concept. I mean, I'm loved by everyone. What is this HATE? I've never heard it thrown in my direction.


"but at least you dont smoke, dirnk, do drugs, fuck people and swear?"
-- from "Someone I must have made a good impression on," 02/08/08, 3:55PM

Ouch, this one sucks. The Big 0. As in, 0-for-5. Well, maybe she gets partial points for some of them. But still. Low score for the win!

"Eventually when you've spent enough time together and getting to know more of each other, you'll eventually end up liking her like no other and then falling in love with her then loving her unconditionally, as long as the relationship keeps growing and blooming into something more beautiful than it is."
-- from "My Best Friend," [date and time unknown]

Ahh, this quote. Sadly, it was completely off the mark. Oh well. Easy come, easy go. Except that it's never, you know, easy.

"cz we love jess', angies and diannes...rofl"
-- from "WE ARE THE SUPER FRIENDS," 25/09/08, 10:34:09PM

This one REALLY made me laugh. My close friend and I seem to go for girls with the same name. OH! Not enough Kindred Spirits!

"love succccksss stay away!!!!"
-- from "Self-fulfilling Prophecy," 11/05/08, 2:38:41AM

Done and done.

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And now, for a verse that is entirely appropriate.

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I know it's been a while, sweetheart
We hardly talk, I was doin' my thang
I know it was foul baby, ay bay
Lately, you've been all on my brain
And if somebody would've told me a month ago
Frontin' though, yo, I wouldn't wanna know
If somebody would've told me a year ago
It'd go get this difficult?
Feeling like Katrina with no FEMA
Like Martin with no (STEAK)
Like a flight with no Visa
First class with the seat back, I still see ya
In my past, you on the other side of the glass
Of my memory's museum
I'm just sayin, Hey Mona Lisa, come home
You know you can't Rome without Caesar!

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In other news, I'm just gonna go ahead and file that last Stats exam under "Reason Why I Drink." Funnily enough, I can probably also file it under "Consequences of My Drinking." It's a vicious cycle, is what it is is what it is.

- marty..

END COMMUNICATION.

The One with the Soundbites

A selection of quotes and quips from my dear dear friends. They made me laugh, they made me think. (Glayvin!)

NOTE: While the names have been changed to protect the innocent, what they have been changed to (secret codes!) is purely for my own amusement.

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"lol ur such a mr antisocial with ur non msning ways !!"
-- from "TruthSpeaker," 6/10/08, 12:41:25AM

Oh, it's true. But hey, being anti-social is fun. =D Methinks I should continue down this path, see where it leads me. It's easier this way.


"ps ur obsessed with vampires"
-- from "Let the Right One In," 4/10/08, 5:08:57PM

Who wouldn't be obsessed with vampires? Reasons why I'd love to be a vampire, in order: They're awesome. They're immortal. They get to seduce women. They're immortal. They never ever have to get a tan (because getting one would literally KILL them). They're immortal. They drink blood. They have preternatural powers. They get to walk around at night. They can choose to fight for good, and kill bad guys. They're immortal.


"yees...but when she is....you should be first in line...ok??"
-- from "I Liked You Two Together," 24/12/07, 2:37:06PM

Wishful thinking, yes. But hey, that's what I'm good at. And I don't think I'd be first in line with her. It seems like one of those, "lost your chance, back to the end of the line" types of deals.


"MARTIN IS TRYING TO BE ABIG BOY BUT SECRETELY LOVES (STEAK)"
-- from "My Big Sister," 30/07/08, 9:16:23PM

Steak was supposed to be someone's name. I hate how my big sister knows me. Well, most of the time. I still think she was only half-right on this one.


"is it possible to love two people at the same time ?"
-- from "My Little Sister," 23/06/08, 6:14:27PM

Nope. Least it hasn't happened to me before.


"OMG UR SUCH A pyschologist alreaaaaaaaaaaaady!"
-- from "Good Old Friend," 19/02/08, 1:45:58AM

Now, if only the Australian Psychological Society can see that! You know, bypass all the exams and entry conditions and everything. Just call me a Psychologist already.

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Over and out.

- marty..

END COMMUNICATION.

The One About Getting Back to the Grind

And what a grind it is. I've got a shitload of things to do, and not enough time to do it in.

Cot damn, Semester 2 (and Third Year) is DUNZO in less than THREE weeks. That was fucking FAST. On the plus side, it's another year down in my degree, and finishing mucho early means I have about four months of holly days.

BUT, on the "aww fuck, this sucks!" side, three weeks to finish all my assessments is NADA. Especially considering I have to keep up with lectures and tutes and shizz throughout that time as well. Plus (minus?), it also means three SHORT weeks before my exam period starts. And after seeing my exam timetable for the first time...STAY AWAY! A five day-break to study for three exams in two days. Numbers really hate me nowadays. Once that's dunzo, it should be smooth sailing. But while that's happening, I'm fixin' to receive an ass-whuppin'.

NBA 2K9 came out today. To my neighbours, and to anyone who may have been in the vicinity of my household around 3:30PM today: no one was dying/in pain/orgasming really loudly. I was just REALLY amped about the game coming out.

It's not just Uni that I have to keep up with. There's a lot of stuff I like to keep up with outside of my studies. Making sure I'm up-to-date on everything is a big deal for me, and expending the effort to do so leads to burnout every so often. One of these days, I'll put up one of those "what happens in a typical day" type of posts.

Sleeping patterns are fudged in the face. Slept at 10PM, was awake again by 2AM. Score.

Over and out.

- marty..

END COMMUNICATION.

The One About What Sleep Deprivation Does to You

[I couldn't (read: didn't want to, and drank a can of Coke to make sure I wouldn't) fall asleep this morning, so I decided to blog. My parents like to kick up a stink about my vampire ambitions, so I closed my laptop in case they walked in. Feeling the urge to blog, I brain-released onto my phone sometime between 6:40AM and 7:15AM. Note to self: GOOD JOB, JACKASS. YOUR SLEEPING PATTERNS ARE NOW FIZZUCKED.]

Awake at 6:40AM. Still haven't slept. Thoughts?

• Time to be deceptive and pretend I've been asleep this whole time.
• Wow, my room's a mess.
• I'm takin' over Earth and still kickin' that Psych of Language Report's anus. Slowly, sure. But dangit, progress is definitely being made.
• Ask not what procrastination can do for you, ask what you can do for procrastination!
• Sanity erodes when you're deprived of sleep and running on a can of Coke as your sole source of fuel. Mind begins to play tricks on you. Schizophrenic conversations become commonplace.
• Descent into insanity has begun. Note: pack light, bring extra sandwiches.
• BELIEVE WHAT YOU READ.
• I wonder if she's awake? I feel like talking to her, for some odd reason.
• I really wanna work on my report, right this very second. Wow. There's something I never thought I'd say.
• 7:10AM. Parents still yet to check my room. Yet to leave for work. Dangnammit! Status: getting very antsy. Paranoia creeping in.
• Mentally adding to report. Seems okay. Beach feels like viable option at this point in time. Then again, so does harakari.
• Brain shutting down. Eyebags getting more obese. Dare I sleep now?

Over and out.

- marty..

END COMMUNICATION.

The One About How I Roll

After going through some photos and a moment spent on my Throne of Epiphany (hint: it's white, and I tend to have tender moments with it after a bad drinking night), I decided it would be worthwhile to draw up a list of tenets that I stick to in my life. In other words, haste + doublecast Brainstormga (Final Fantasy references for several wins).

• I may or may not be in love with this girl. By my logic, I am never going to speak to her. No matter how BADLY I want to chat to her whenever she pops up on MSN, or text her whenever something remotely interesting pops up in my life, or ask her to hang out whenever I have some spare time.
• I'm very paranoid. A lot of the time, it's irrational paranoia. Like, for instance, going to great lengths to make myself the third wheel, even though I don't even like the girl.
• Being anti-social actually works for me. I like to think I've picked up a thing or two from the new friends I've made over the last couple of months. Self-isolation seems to be one of them.
• I'm not always angry or bitter towards people, but pretending to be in that mood makes it easier to cope with a lot of things. It jades my perspective, and helps in justifying my actions/behaviour.
• In times of strife, you have two options: stay in place and wait for it to go away, or take yourself out of the game and disappear from sight. Both methods work for me.
• Isolation isn't as bad as I used to think it was. It's good in measured doses. I'm not saying I'd want to live my life as a hermit, but sometimes, being by yourself can actually heal your psyche.
• I have a lot of pride. I'm extremely stubborn. So, if I like someone, and I know they don't like me back, I probably wouldn't tell them. Rejection's too big of a shot to my giant ego. I'd rather just disappear and never mention it again.
• In the words of Aaron Lewis, "Sometimes I say things just to disagree." Much in the same vein, sometimes I like to be different just for the sake of being different. With that said, it still gets overridden if I don't like what I'm going with. It's a delicate balance, is what it is is what it is.
• I like the all-or-nothing perspective. The way I see it, with some girls, they're either in my life as my girlfriend, or they can't be in my life at all. It's nothing personal, and it's not as if they're bad friends. It's just hard to be friends with someone if you know you can't help but like them. It's all very Seth & Summer at the start of season two, come to think of it.

This list is nowhere near dunzo. If more come to mind, I'll write up a sequel. This is enough for now, though. Peace and much love.

- marty..

END COMMUNICATION.